I’ve always hated posts like this. They seem overly dramatic and usually unnecessary, which is why I’ve avoided writing this for months, despite the fact that it does seem necessary.
If you haven’t noticed, I pretty much ghosted the blog in May. It’s not for lack of trying. I’ve had a post with three mini reviews drafted, so close to being done for almost a month. I just never quite reached the point of hitting send.
I joke about not having a life and non-stop work, but more often than not I just feel incredibly productive and can’t believe how much I’ve learned in the last year.
I stress ate my way through passing research design, which is the hardest class in my coursework.
I’ve been poster-making and conference-going/planning (coming to you in October, Portland!)
I’ve been doing real science! Like excitedly learning multiple statistical packages science. And finally moved onto the draft stage of this amazing manuscript.
I’m taking a class, squeezing in a policy internship with a fantastic organization, and continuing work with my graduate assistantship this summer.
I’m 90% sure I have a dissertation path laid out, looking at a measurement of teacher attributions (what do they see as the cause) for student behavior.
I haven’t been reading. I desperately want to be reading.
But this blog hangs over my head and, honestly, makes me sad. It feels like something I’m neglecting and something I’ve failed. I know that’s an untrue, silly thought because a blog isn’t something to “achieve”, but the routine of reading and writing did feel like an achievement for a long time. I’ve mentioned before that I started this as a bit of an escape from an unhappy work situation; it was a great companion through that and several transitions. At this point I’m not sure I need that. In fact, knowing this space is blank is making it difficult to enjoy reading and that’s been pretty unbearable.
So, where to? I can’t possibly delete this, nor can I let go of the option to return. But I need to put things on hold. Until then, please don’t leave me talking to myself on Twitter. And Instagram. Even Snapchat (I’m old, I don’t know how to link that…)